Watashi no Daijina Genjitsu
by Lilac Lenalee
Summary: It's late Christmas night, and Asuna has called Kazuto to the park so she can give him her Xmas gift she made. *KiriAsu fluff*


_Screeeek….. screeeeek… screeeek…._

The metallic groan of the swing Asuna sat upon sliced the sleepy winter air with an aesthetic, overwrought whine, strangling the late night silence in a gorgeously crisp, decapitatingly sweet way. Sitting alone in the park, completely isolated from society, chewing on both delectable and tough thoughts in a place supposed to be reserved only for those with young hearts of adventure— those who came to this park to actually legitimately utilize it for purposes of play and make-believe, for creating a world of rich fantasy colors and daringly innocent conquests that take on far more phantasmal gravity then they realistically do, or maybe even futuristically ever would. The tips of Asuna's boots scraped away at the ground's chilled physiognomy, stray bits of dirt chaffing away like the dead skin from a sunburned complexion. It really was a ridiculous request. Who in their right minds would spend ￥250 on a subway, brace the cool glare of night, and enter a playground 9:30 at night?

"_Of course I'll come for you. I'd always come for you, Asuna." _

That's what he'd said to her. He'd said it in a way that had put a mirror to her outlandish request, in which it looked at itself and decided that it looked rather plausible after all, like it was worth so much more than it ever could be, like it actually deserved to be heard and followed like some kind of holy edict that was completely oblivious to the strings of troubles it had attached to its back end, the end it couldn't see therefore couldn't possibly exist. It'd made her feel horrifically selfish yet incredibly elated all in one murderous heart throb, sniping right through her vasculature until it splattered across her insides in a luridly complex spirograph of erythrocytes and gunning down her spine into an anachronistic mess of salivating cerebrospinal fluid. But he'd answered her so simply, with a gentle immediateness that could've easily swept any female off their feet and into a world of zealous pink clouds and rainbows experiencing contagious seizures. Was it wrong for Asuna to feel slightly excited for his arrival?

She began swinging herself again, lazily propelling her legs forward and back, forward and back, her luxuriously long hair gliding across the wintry filaments of air one step behind the rest of her body, like a waltz of ultra-fine fire opals suspended in silk milk, slowed only by its own mesmerizing beauty. There was something about breezing through the frozen, insular state of night that was rather inspiring; one could almost taste the aura of romanticism, deeply invaginated by canals of loneliness ever so desperate to turn themselves inside out and locate their one true love. It was embarrassing really, yet at the same time so incredibly addicting. Asuna could perfectly understand how one became so infatuated with love, for its stimulation of two antithetical feelings, its ignition of two emotional contradictions, left one exasperatedly gasping for a foreign species of air that would never actually exist. It was love that had pushed her to overcome the mannerisms instilled within the very fascia of her muscles, love that had caused her to get dressed, walk to the park, and wait on this swing when she really should've been lying on her bed imagining such an occurrence. Love was a remarkable eraser, annihilating her guilt, intimidating her nerves into obedient stasis. Despite realizing all of this Asuna still had no possible way of overcoming love's powerful, autocratic effects—

A warmth that halted every bodily process from continuing had encapsulated itself around her waist, pulling her in with gentle strength; looking down, Asuna smiled as she recognized Kazuto's hands wrapped around her waist, pulling her ever so softly towards his skinny body as the swing came to a position of homeostasis. No matter where, or what time of day, or in what mental state, Asuna adored how warm Kazuto always was; despite his frail build, he would always produce just enough body heat to keep Asuna warm, filling her entire body with gentle, sun-kissed warmth that could only ever be produced by him.

She almost shrieked out in objection as the heat slipped away from her, but the smile was quickly resurrected as Kazuto began pushing her with his strong, protective arms, the only arms in the world Asuna felt warm and safe in, setting the swing once again into motion.

With them, words really weren't necessary. Communication through body language and hardly perceptible, highly concealed facial vicissitudes was all they needed in order to know exactly what the other was feeling, what they were thinking, what they were emoting, even at the most subconscious of levels. For a long time, Asuna had thought that she was one of the only ones with this impeccable discernment, yet…. so many times….. Kazuto had read her heart like a children's pop-up book, one complete with audio that dissected every word and every sound in monotonous brevity, and he did it with such uncanny accuracy it was like he had been taught since he was born, no, since before he was brought into this world, to read the very encryptions invisibly branded atop Asuna's soul. She didn't mind though. In fact she loved it, more then she could probably describe. Just being able to experience the feeling, the riveting sensation of having another human being, one that isn't tied to you through blood or lineage but rather, is tied to you through the very sinew of your soul, knowing that someone like that loved you and cared about you more then you could ever possibly love yourself… the palms of Kazuto's hands continued pressing against her back, pushing her forward, higher and higher into the night sky becoming suffocated with stars, until Asuna was quite positive the strands of her hair balancing atop the chords of the air, slinking across them like the fingers of a harp-player, would be caught by the pointy protrusions of the stars, scattered across the night sky with their incongruent elegance. Was it wrong of her to want this moment to continue on forever…..?

Suddenly, Asuna's swing was brought to a jerky standstill. "What's wrong Kazu—"

Swing chains jangling about, the wooden seat of the swing began tipping side to side rather erratically as Asuna realized Kazuto's legs were now on either side of her, their combined weight sending the swing into a panicked frenzy before Kazuto shifted his balance in such a way as to soothe the agitated playground toy. Asuna couldn't help but release a tiny giggle, her arms wrapping around Kazuto's legs and squeezing them excitedly. "What exactly are you doing?"

The swing lurched forward with an awkward jolt before settling into a harmonious swaying rhythm; Asuna could feel the muscles in Kazuto's legs tensing and relaxing deliciously against her arms as she began moving her own legs forward and back, the swing becoming rambunctious and wily as its passengers forced it to go higher and higher, further and further towards the velveteen backdrop of prickly star shine. "We're gonna touch the stars!"

She believed it. She really truly believed that they could do it, if it were the two of them. They definitely could. Laughing in utter elation, smiling so hard her cheeks cramped, Asuna felt as if they were neither in reality or a game world, but in their very own little world, a world only populated by her and Kazuto, a place they could call home and could laugh and cry and love each other without any interruption, with all the passion they wanted. She didn't even care that her stomach was twisted up into a hyperventilating knot of agony, the laughing wouldn't stop, she didn't want it to stop, and, mixed with Kazuto's adorably deep laughter, it rang through the deserted park like black and white bells chiming in perfect complimentary synchronicity.

"Asuna!" Kazuto yelled overtop the grinding of the swing's chains, unconcerned with disturbing the quietude that should've been left undisrupted at this time of night.

"What?"

"How can we reach the stars if you keep laughing like that? I need your strength!"

His question only made her laughter increase, tears flinging from her eyelashes with glimmering temerity. "But you're laughing too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

Asuna became engulfed in a regressive wave of giggles; only with him….. only with him could she ever allow herself to retrogress to a state of pure, subliminal innocence, to a younger layer of her soul that had long ago been exiled to the darkest depths of her heart where it could never surface, could never know what it was like to breathe earth's air or to vibrate in rapturous pulsations of laughter, all as a precaution in case she were ever to accidentally step off that claustrophobically narrow, ostentatious path of pre-determined life-shaping, an assembly line that sadly mistook itself for destiny. She had never been allowed to be that young, happy girl who could laugh with the delicate chasteness of an angel, who could freely and fully enjoy something in the way all children were supposed to be allowed to laugh away their mundane troubles and worries. She had hardly been allowed to be a child, to revel in the luxurious naivety that accompanied discovering the world through eyes that saw no darkness behind the light. Yet she often found herself unconsciously slipping into these moments of immature bliss while around Kazuto…. it was inevitable, really… pulling out those hidden weaknesses and infusing them with a strengthening acceptance….. that was the kind of stuff soulmates did for each other, right?

The swing was now flying higher than the tops of the trees outlining the park, throwing Asuna into a shrieking fit of delight. "Ka-Kazuto! We're going to fly off!"

"Don't worry, I got you! Just a bit higher."

Clutching Kazuto's legs even tighter, Asuna indulged in the feeling of the night air streaming past her face, her eyes like molten honey as they shimmered in exhilaration, widening in anticipation as they neared the realms of the stars, believing for a brief, fleeting moment that maybe they actually _would_ break past the heavenly barrier, before they flew back down again with a heart-gasping surge of gravity. "We're almost there!"

Almost as soon as she'd shrieked this observation she felt Kazuto's body slip skillfully down her back, lightly pushing Asuna forward as her head came to rest against his chest; he was now seated snugly behind her, his hands smoothly encapsulating Asuna's and the swing's temper flaring at such a sudden change in body positioning, its travels becoming daringly disoriented.

Wooshing downwards from a colossal amplitude, the force going forward became so great, the two of them were viciously thrown from the speeding security of the swing, Kazuto quickly pulling Asuna close to him as they went careening forward at a deathly velocity, feet clambering atop the ground in clumsy desperation as either tried to achieve a semi-acceptable footing. Despite the sudden rush of adrenaline-popping, vocal cord-ripping terror, Asuna felt as if she were back in that death game, right smack dab in the middle of some boss challenge where the two of them had been thrown vehemently away from the boss's dexterous hand with an HP-depleting blow; she honestly didn't mind the thrilling recollection, and began giggling again as Kazuto fell backwards onto a metal slide, Asuna coming down with clumsy grace on top of him shortly after.

A few moments of insane laughter ensued, interspersed with massive gasps for air, before Asuna decided to confront the breathing cushion beneath her. "Were you _trying _to kill us?!"

"Yeah, kinda forgot we don't have wings in this world," Kazuto huffed with what seemed to be a hint of sarcasm, his rapidly expanding and collapsing ribs poking against Asuna's back with ticklish daintiness. "My bad."

Asuna wriggled her fingers in between Kazuto's, which had remained wrapped around her waist, and began ever so lightly delineating the tiny, twisty designs of his palms, designs she knew off by heart and that always managed to pollute her own palms with his loving, affectionate warmth, until their body temperatures' set points had conflated to one. "I _guess_ I'll forgive you…"

Looking up like this at the endless expanse of stars, each one quivering with resplendent miserableness, so sad and afraid of its own loneliness despite appearing so close together from this particular planetary perspective….. and to think that some of these glittering entities may very well have already moved on with their lives, had passed on into the unfathomable realms of starry heaven….. the night sky really was a cold, lonely place, despite trying so hard to convince you otherwise. She intuitively felt herself squeeze Kazuto's hands tighter, as if to remind herself of their tangibly physical closeness. Sometimes, it was as if their proximity became so miniscule, so incredibly impossible to detect, it was like they'd just melted together, content to just stay that way forever and always.

"You know, I feel bad for the stars," Asuna sighed softly, her eyes glancing up at the collection of suns with a maternal sort of sympathy. "I mean, they're always just….. so _alone_, separated by light years and light years of black, lifeless vacuity…."

"Is it really just black, lifeless vacuity though?" Kazuto's voice rang out deep and clear, managing to be so strong and convincing yet so quiet and delicate, it was so infatuatingly hypnotic. "I mean, it's the sky itself that forms the conduit between every single star, the bond that ensures that they're always connected to each other. It's always reaching out to them and making sure they remember just how close to others they really are, how they wouldn't be a star if it wasn't for such a distant liaison continually piecing together their identities ….. so are they really that lonely?"

Asuna smiled, the tips of her fingers rubbing against Kazuto's and creating playful friction that made them feel all fuzzy and snug. "Kind of like how Kazuto always reminds me of who I really am?" It was a question that didn't need answering; the strengthening of his arms around her was the only response she needed. "So I guess that makes me the stars and Kazuto the night sky, huh…"

The gentle pressing of his lips against the top of her head sent Asuna into a vibrating mess of perfectly intoxicated, superheated serenity. "Then Yui can be the star shine, right next to her beautiful Mommy."

Cheeks crinkling into a soft shade of crimson, Asuna was instantly reminded of why she'd called Kazuto out here in the first place, and she rose to her feet quickly, before her embarrassment could be detected by human sensory devices. Reaching into her inside coat pocket, she pulled out a leather-bound book, her fingers carefully holding it just out of sight of the now standing Kazuto. "I-I wanted to give you this…. for Christmas…."

Stepping closer to her boyfriend so he could take the gift she had made, Asuna wrapped her arms around his waist lovingly as he took the present from her, her temple resting against the rough softness of his obviously well-worn sweater as his arm curled around her body in order to properly look at his gift.

The front of the book contained a picture of Kirito, Asuna, and their daughter Yui, all smiling together in the front yard of their home in Aincrad, on the 22nd floor, holding each other with a tenderness that never failed to bring a fresh flood of tears to Asuna's eyes. She nuzzled her face further into Kazuto's sweater as he opened the photo album, knowing precisely what picture he'd arrived at without even physically looking, understanding every emotion that swept through his body and made his veins throb, in a way only Asuna could differentiate from the calming rhythm of his heart.

Ever since she'd been able to access her old SAO avatar, Asuna had immediately been able to re-access her Item Inventory, which had contained a multitude of heart-warming, memory-laced photos she had almost entirely forgotten about. Most of them she had taken herself, like the ones of Yui on Kirito's shoulders as they went on a father-daughter stroll into the woods, or where Kirito would be teaching her how to properly hold a fishing rod, or where the two of them would be passed out on the couch together or eating Asuna's homemade sandwiches with lustful looks of hunger on their face. A few had been taken by Yui without Asuna even knowing, like the one of her and Kirito still fast asleep in bed, bodies wrapped around each other as the artificial morning glow illuminated their sleeping faces, as well as the one where Asuna was smacking Kirito with her fork for having suggested that the dinner she had made the night before was slightly better than the one she'd made at that moment. There were plenty more, ones of Asuna and Yui cooking together, one of Yui trying on Asuna's armor, one of the three of them swimming in the lake… they were all pictures of their family, the family they had created while trapped within a virtual reality, the precious times they had spent together and the memories that eternally accompanied them all. It was a gift that had taken Asuna a very long time to put together, for every time she opened the album her eyes would become paralyzed with tears, the nostalgia and love radiating from the photos almost too much for her to remember in one go. Sensing Kazuto's presence quaver slightly, Asuna looked up at him, tears immediately swerving down her face as she saw Kazuto's own face twisted in that same indescribable feeling of exulted love and nostalgia. "I wanted you to have it. So that you can look at it whenever you feel lonely, and remember the people in your life who love you, probably even more than they love themselves."

Without a word Kazuto removed his arm from around Asuna's body, his free hand unzipping his own sweater pocket and pulling out a tiny, cubic black case. "I have something for you too, but…" he wiped his sleeve across his eyes, a weak smile stretching across his face. "I didn't think I'd be in such a weak state when giving it to you….."

"It's okay," cupping his tear-stained face in her hands, Asuna delicately wiped away the stray bits of liquid emotion that had perilously slipped to the ends of his face. "I just wanted to make you happy….. our family's precious protector…."

She could literally feel the happiness coursing through his body, infiltrating his insides and sucking all the strength out of them till he was shaky and fragile, unable to speak, unable to emote, one movement may very well reveal that weaker side of him he was trying so hard not to show… it was his own silent yet completely perfect way of saying thank you.

Just as she was debating whether or not to take the initiative and open her gift, Kazuto turned directly towards her, a serious look now contouring his face beneath the star shine and streetlamps collaborative coagulation of milky light. Without a word and in a way that left Asuna completely breathless and frozen with excitement, Kazuto flipped open the lid of the tiny black case, revealing something that literally assassinated Asuna's lungs and left her gasping for air in the most unmannerly, unsophisticated way possible. She felt like she was being strangled from the inside-out, her heart stopping for a moment as it attempted to console the body as it shook in eminent astonishment, her blood twirling into little mini maelstroms of happiness until it had forgotten which way it was travelling, her entire body had been reset and left to panic without a functioning brain to guide them through their anarchical state.

Before her, tucked with gorgeous splendor within the velvety interior of the case in Kazuto's hand, was a diamond ring, twinkling and winking up at her in a way that seemed to reflect every single emotion Asuna had ever felt when thinking of Kazuto, mirrored right into her face with blinding potency. It was a tiny diamond, a tiny circular one atop a silver band, yet it held such immense meaning, such feeling and thought and beauty, she couldn't, she couldn't…

"I want you to always be mine, Asuna," the words, the words that made her tympanum convulse and her heart completely delete diastole, they dripped from his mouth with such heavy beauty, such prominent strength, nothing really seemed to matter anymore, everything seemed so trivial aside from him and that _ring_, how had he managed to….

"Is this…. real…. Kazuto?" her voice trembled terribly, sending her face into a shivering slate of tears. "Is this…. for real…."

This time it was Kazuto who hugged the trembling Asuna, pulling her deeply into his arms in a way that, she just knew, could protect her forever and ever, and she never wanted him to let go, if he let go she might disintegrate, might shatter into millions of little shards of tear-soaked bliss, she might never be able to return to the real world and feel the same again. "Don't leave me….. Kazuto don't _ever_ leave me…"

"Asuna…"

It didn't matter if it was real. As she pressed her lips into Kazuto's, his arms twirling tightly around her waist, pulling her as close as physically possible to his body, Asuna's arms snaking around his neck and pulling herself deeper and deeper into his magnetic, hopelessly escapeless kiss…. she couldn't care less if this were real. The warmth generated from their gently caressing, softly dancing lips transmuted the salty drips of tears into a delectably sweet syrup of emotional viscosity, a stickiness that only increased the impossibility of them separating, that only made their mouths move more intricately and with a passion that made every second seem like ten. Even if this was a dream, even if this was within a game where everything was made of polygons, where everything looked so real it was fake, leaving you incapable of distinguishing reality from its virtual, near-identical twin…. as long as she was with Kazuto, that was all the reality she ever needed. Without him, she would have continued living a nightmare, oblivious and unaware, never waking up, never seeing herself for who she truly, candidly was, continually terrified and afraid to face the world with any sort of confidence and attack. As long as she was with him, she'd be okay. It didn't matter where they were, or what they looked like, Kazuto would still make it feel as real as real could be. After all…..

He was her reality.

* * *

**A/N: **Merry Christmas everyone! My Xmas present to you, a delightful gift of sappy KiriAsu goodness, I mean what better gift right? Please ignore lame title (which means "My Precious Reality"), lame ending, and all my little mistakes. This was rushed in time for Xmas, so its definitely not my best work, but I hope you still manage to enjoy it a little bit. Like really, just a little bit, cuz it really sucks.

Comments and all that jazz always welcome!


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